Book review: Constant (The Confidence Game #1) by Rachel Higginson

Title: Constant
Author: Rachel Higginson
Daniela’s rating: 5 stars

Daniela’s review


YES. YES. YES!!!!! 

**ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review**

Blurb:

Fifteen years ago I met Sayer Wesley. I fell in love with him. I promised I would never leave him. I swore nothing could break us apart. 

Five years ago I broke my promise. I ran away. I took the one secret that could destroy us both and disappeared. 

Five days ago I thought I saw him. 

I knew it was impossible. Sayer was locked away, serving a deserved sentence in federal prison. He couldn’t find me. 

He wouldn’t find me. I was too good at hiding. Too good at surviving. 

Because if Sayer ever found me, there would be hell to pay for a plethora of sins. The worst of which, he didn’t even know about. 

Five hours ago, I told myself I was crazy. 

Five minutes ago, I saw him again. 

Five seconds ago, I was too late.

I was not expecting this book. AT ALL.

When I read the blurb it sounded super interesting, like something I would like. And it did not disappoint. From the second I started it, I just couldn’t put it down. I kept putting everything off, just to read one more page, which turned into one more chapter.

I’ve read a few of Rachel’s books, but I think this one might be my favorite so far. A couple of weeks ago, I got the invite to see if I wanted to read this book and after reading the blurb, I couldn’t say no. Then, I got an email saying this story had so much to tell, that it was going to be made into a duet. I had my doubts at first, I can’t deny that, but I still gave it a try and now I totally understand why Rachel had to split the story. Yes, this story has a lot to tell and it should be given the dedication and time it deserves.

We are introduced to dangerous life, the mafia life. How people inside of it live, the the adrenaline, the excitement, the doubts and ultimately, the constant fear, not by all, but by some. Caroline was raised in this life, she was trained to lie and made a living out of it. With a father that pushed her into this crappy life, one that wasn’t capable of defending her, she had to grow and fast, along with the only friends she knew, other kids like her. Even though she excelled at what she did, she knew it wasn’t for her, that it wasn’t the life she wanted. The only problem was the boy with the bluest eyes and need to be saved, to be someone. He was everything to her, until the day she realized he wasn’t, not anymore. She needed to protect herself from this dark and dangerous life, she needed to run, and do what was best for herself and her future. So she did.

This story is the kind that, at first, you’re so lost, because you know absolutely nothing so you can’t be on anyone’s side, not yet. Yes, I was always on Caroline’s side, but still, there were so many missing pieces, things I hadn’t figured out yet, I just couldn’t wrap my mind around what was going on. It’s based on a past-present kind of writing. Rachel introduced us to mini Caroline, what her life was when she was just a kid. Then we’re thrown into the present, what her life is now and then back. For a moment there, I wanted more out of the past, to understand exactly what happened there, what took her to this point in her life, but as I read and read, I kept wanting to be more in the present than the past, because everything was as messed up as it was in those brief flashbacks.

Caroline is a strong woman, after all, she was raised to be one. She knows how to lie and manipulate a situation to her advantage, except when she’s with Sayer. He’s the only one who manages to get the truth out of her, he’s the only one who can read her completely, even after many years have passed. She’s managed to create a life based on a lie, but a life nonetheless and she’s going to do everything she can to protect it, because it’s all she has, and all she needs. Except her new life has something Sayer doesn’t know about, and it’s something he might go crazy about once he finds out. I’m still debating about how much I like Sayer, because at first he seemed like the kind of guy I would love, but then, he did stuff that put me off. He was growing into a man that scares me. He acted like the biggest jerk sometimes, but then his wall would crumble a little, and I could see pieces of himself, of the boy he once was. His secrets were keeping him from being the man he could be, the good guy. I think it’s a Love / I-Want-To-Kick-You kind of relationship with him. I just hope we get to see another side of him on the next book, I really do. Because the only thing I was scared was that this version of him had way too much anger bottled up inside, and you know nothing good comes out of that. I have hope though.

Like I said, I totally see the need to turn this book into two stories. I hope it gets the time it deserves, so the story has a conclusion worthy of this first book, because even though there were things or attitudes I wasn’t really on board with, I think it was perfectly well done considering the line to the story. This is a story of a hard life, one that comes with lots of risks and consequences. It’s a criminal life that not only comes with the risk of jail, but one that threatens to make you lose yourself into the temptation and the adrenaline. I guess only the strong hearted really get out of this life, and I believe Caroline is one and I hope with all my heart Sayer is one, too.

I can’t wait, truly, I CAN’T WAIT to read the next book. I love sequels, but I hate to wait.

Rachel, you’ve managed to create a incredible story here. CONSTANT is definitely worth your time. Totally recommend it.

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